I am not going to write my poly-sci paper... instead I am writing in this.

Good Grief as Charlie Brown would say. It has been a shortly long semester. How can so much of my life get packed and bundled into a little ball of 4 months then graded and stamped determining my scholastic future? This is something I might just never understand, all that I do understand is that good jobs are suppossed to come with a college degree, or so they say anyways, or maybe that's the other way around... ha ok.

Life in Megan's World has been good. Life is good. Only if you make it. .... doesn't that sound like it should be on a bill board? ha ok soo I seem to be coming across great things lately, and I like them. I believe that this is actually my doing. I have become a strong karma-ist... life gives back whatever you give to life. It seems to be working out for me so far. It could also partially be the fact that I have regained myself back... cheesy but i know what that means and thats all that matters.

Today I mapped a new running route. It was kind of scarry with how dark it was, but as I relaxed a little bit with the beat of the music it began to feel effortless. It is such a good feeling to exercise and have all of your senses alert. My body and mind feel happy :)
It is so interesting to me how things look so different running in comparison to driving by. I guess at that speed the world just blurrs together but with running you can run by each individual house, see all the christmas decorations, basically get a closer look. The profound lesson I happened to learn on my little journey was that you can enjoy and appreciate things more if you just stop to get a closer look. I'm gonna try to apply that more. Little details make life so much more interesting.

Lame as this sounds I have to prepare for Project Runway... my little guilty pleasure is on in 10 minutes... better get back to typing that paper.

nights world,

~MEGAN~

location: my fuzzy little bed mood: content music: the anniversary - the d in detroit

I have come to the conclusion today. When you are young it is so easy to lose sight of your passions. I have seemed to misplaced what i love at the moment, as i sit here feeling uneasy because i drank too much last night.

Does this mean that you have to engrave what you strive for and love into your brain on a daily basis? I don't want it to be that way. This week I am getting my passions back... and not going to neglect them anymore. It can't be that hard because i do love this stuff... I think a man without passions is lost... who does he become then? I am not making much sense but I think I am going somewhere with all of this.
~MEGAN~

mood: hungry music: shift- grizzly bear

I went in an hour early to work. ha do i really like being there that much? ha jk



Today I am breaking in my new shoes. Its a pet peeve of mine. I have a belief that shoes should fit right from the start. My metaphor with alot of things. They should just work. Hmm i have to get a new one cause this doesn't seem to hold true.... My feet are killing me.

well i'm off. I hope you all are having a wonderful tuesday

~Megan~

location: apple mood: cold music: feist- lonely lonely

i was late to class this morning because i was dreaming i was at Hogwarts being some crazy wizard. I guess i wanted to keep dreaming so i stayed asleep.

Good reason to be late.

I wish i had more time to dream because they tend to be a whole lot of fun.

~Megan~

location: my desk mood: feeling rushed music: rilo- acoustic stuff

Why does change keep confronting me like a huge dike bully who won't stop kicking me when I'm in the fetal position on the ground?

A constant reminder of what i need to work on. I hate when things change... well when they seem to be for the worst. Maybe all things that do change aren't for the worst. I'm afraid that this one might be.

Gotta keep that chin up and set my goals.

~Megan~

p.s. livejournal i think i'm in love... he lives in l.a., he is big and beautiful, and the he i am referring to has the initials USC....he is the one... i'm pretty sure. Going on campus got me so excited... we will see though

mood: confused music: all i want from you is love- lets go sailing

I just finished Slaughter-House- Five... not a bad book... its quite appropriate for the times. War can be a terrible thing. I believe the war we are in as of currently is tragic. That becomes the only word that i can use to explain things. As lame as this sounds I was watching the View and a news reporter who was hit with debris from a bomb was speaking. He had a captivating story of the struggles he and his family have gone through during his recovery. It makes me wonder how many more of these stories are we going to allow happen? What about the stories where the soldier dies? I don't know. I believe we are in a big fat mess... hope the world doesn't go to shit over this... its scarry because it is real. and reality is always frightening.

On a brighter note the l.a. acura bike tour was such an experience. Not so much the bike ride but traveling through the city with absolutely no cars... the city in a whole new perspective. I suggest any one try this. The better part was that we were able to watch the Kenyan runners finish the marathon. It is incredible to see the things that people can do if they just set their minds to it. I'm gonna start to train for mini marathons i think... it should be good. Plus i miss running way too much.

well I'm off to USC, lets see if this is the place for me after Moorpark.

~Megan~

location: mi casa mood: okay music: wild sweet orange- ten dead dogs

There is a world in which a man will never know of.

I envy them for not having to experience it first hand and go along with it too. It is a world where there are fake laughs and fake compliments. Fake hair... fake tans... fake nails... now i think i am painting the picture for you. Yes this is right, the world of women.

Now if you are a girl you know what I am talking about. Don't think I am trying to exclude myself from being any of these things because I am just as guilty as the rest of them, but where have all the real girls gone? In this moment in time I'm beginning to believe that it might be our age... or what is supposed to be interesting to people of our age... but I'm just not gonna buy into it. I don't want to dumb myself down for some moto bro... or dumb myself down for anyone for that matter. I have no clue where girls started to think that they had to be dumb to get a guys attention... i don't know. I feel like I'm just complaining but its was i observed and feel like this situation is going to be with me until I transfer to college... but there are still gonna be those ones... i guess its just a part of being a part of the female sex... i just want to find some real girls who agree with me, that would be a refreshing change.

~Megan~

location: here and there mood: confused music: meet me in the morning - boy dylan

I now have almost every bob dylan album ever! i think.... thank you lj!



So the job hunt has actually been way too successful. But no job yet. I have a group interview with my favorite store tomorrow... i'm nervous but if i was meant to get the job then i will... oh boy nervous. Let hope i don't start coughing or turn red cause i'm nervous ha i hate that irish heritage of mine... when i get embarassed or nervous my whole face turns red as a granny smith apple... just kidding... if u didnt catch that granny smith apples are green... i'm a big dork ok have a good work/school week.


~Megan~

I had such a good time in san diego... it has completely helped me

location: somewhere between my desk and bed mood: accomplished music: most of the time - bob dylan

I want a spotless mind.

i miss some one who doesn't exist

I need to get over this sickness

i need to get out and some how meet new people that have worth while things to say.

i need a "vacation from my problems" ~What About Bob.... great movie!

I need to go finish my art project.

~Megan~

peace out hmmmm and have a beautiful day

location: starbucks mood: sick music: don't die in me- mirah

new modest mouse out now! get it while its hot!!!!

~Megan~

location: outside mood: chipper music: people as places as people - mm

Today was amazingly refreshing. I know there are times where the feelings come and go... almost like I'm swinging as hard as a i can where i feel so good while I'm doing it but once i step off to rest a bit i feel nausious and dizzy. Its a pretty good way of explaining it. I wonder how long it takes.

So we went to L.A. and not regular downtown where i go to all my concerts, we went to the heart... the poor neighborhoods, the grafitti filled streets, and its sad to see poverty, but its reality... its life... i get too caught up in this T.O. lifestyle... i need to start doing something worthwhile with my life. I need to contribute to something... i dont know what yet... but i am going to research stuff that i can do.

the story behind this picture is that she was sitting on the curb when we parked and she walked towards us. You could tell that she was lonely and by the looks of her clothes she had lived on the streets for a while now. She spoke softly with a mix of spanish and English which i could somewhat understand. After we had taken pictures and got into the car to leave, she came over and began to speak to us of her family and that we need to come see her tomorrow... she may have been crazy but there were genuine tears in her eyes... i wonder the story behind her life... so this is the pic... i want to do some editing to it and get it printed at ritz... the stories that pictures can tell are sometimes so amazing...



untill next time,
~Megan~

location: my beddd mood: listless music: voxtrot- dirty version

sparklehorse= very good but they didn't play shade n honey




mirah = some lesbian good fun




= where i spent my saturday afternoon... a new spot


~Megan~

mood: sleepy

I'm feeling inspired... i dono why... i think its because the weather was sooo good this morning

So this morning couldn't of gotten better, except i found out that they have done away with ONE SATURDAY MORNING cartoons!!! i dono when they did this but those monsters took away my joy and memories of being a kid on a saturday morning, with my fork to eat my pancakes in one hand and the remote in the other. those days seem to be fading fast. but i still feel like a kid probably more than i should.

I rode through hidden valley today on my friends bike with a flat tire and broken geers... but anyways damn that place is beautiful. I've come to find that the old homes on lake sherwood (the original ones) are much more interesting to look at than those ridiculously jumbo track homes. I wonder if i get into USC and become a big business woman... BIG IF ... but i wonder if that would buy me one of those homes... they are beautiful... I always wonder what those people do for a living... its hard not to wonder... i dont envy them or anything, just pure curiousity, makes you think maybe some day i'll be living in a place like that... if thats where life leads me. So to wrap my bike ride up... my legs feel like jello for switching bikes with nicole and trying to ride it that far haha.

I went to finish my roll of color film... found a really cool field and took some nice pics... finished the roll... go to wind it up... and it got messed up... i'm gonna try to develope it... i wonder how many times that i has happened to people... so frustrating

got mirah tonight... sparklehorse was fun... had sum pop-off before with monster... haha made me giggly... good show... my inspiration has really left me... ok ramble ramble ramble good day

~Megan~

location: daniel's room/ the floor mood: dirty music: acid house kings- the saturday train

Ok so heres the deal....
i am so completely lazy right now and i love it... slept in... the day is still getting ready to start for me

So with the warm weather comes a better feeling. Have you ever had that feeling that things are going to get a whole lot better? yeah well this is how it is for me. I was inspired to write last night... it always seems to help.

This weekend i went to the getty and on the way back a crane fell into the middle of the 405. So as we were winding throught the hills trying to find a short cut in these nice neighborhoods we happen to stop some random guy who was walking his dog and ask him for directions. it ended up being ....

location: home sweet home music: rotten hell- menomena

Today

I saw a bumper sticker that said...


"I Heart Valencia"

thats my random note of the day

~Megan~

location: my desk music: the beatles - HELP!!!

So i have a list of things I need to do/resolve this week before I can rebuild
what is on that list is just for me to know

There is something about long drives that just happen to get the brain juices flowing. Maybe its that beautiful drive down the coast, passing by all those wonderful little beach towns... or some of the memories from the past, but it put me in this state of mind where i came to the conclusion that I just have to embrace everything that occurs in my life. The good. The bad. & The Ugly.

This whole growing up and gaining knowledge thing is actually pretty entertaining to me. Just when i think i know so much life comes at me full swing and leaves me to land on my boney ass. Basically life keeps me in check... takes my "I'm so smart" ego and tears it down a little bit. But hey I'm all for gaining knowledge... i think its a very underrated concept. So all I have to say from this is ... bring it on... I'm more than ready to fall over again and again just to gain a little bit more insight.

i love writing in this thing... its so theraputic

~Megan~

location: my couch mood: beyond tired music: photoshoot medley- paul mccartney

actions speak louder than words

and his actions spoke a little too loudly to me today

maybe one day he will realize what he is giving up

but i wont be around for that realization

time for me to start anew... megans got her groove back and she is ready to conquer the world.

It snowed off of kanan today in Malibu!! they had snow plows and everything!
wish i had gone to see it!

anyways today was good, the rain tends to make things so much better.

~Megan~

location: my bed mood: awake music: that song from ice age

josh ritter @ the el rey?

Sparklehorse @ henry fonda?

Neko Case @ Henry Fonda?

Mirah @ troubadour?

Xiu Xiu / sunset rubdown @ troubadour?

if anyone wants to go let me know please!!

hmmm now is the time where i pull it all together...

this is me telling myself i can do it...

hmm yeah moorpark againnnnn oh boy hold on tight